New Beginnings
by pdb
Summary: COMPLETE Mulder finds Scully 18 months after her second abduction, but she doesn't know who she is.
1. Painful Memories

He woke up from a fitful sleep, sobbing. Not just crying, but body-wracking sobs. His fists were clenched so hard that his knuckles were white. The sheets that entangled him were soaked with sweat. Mulder was not unaccustomed to these sleeping habits. In fact, he had been waking up like this at least twice a week for eighteen months. Eighteen months. That's how long Scully has been gone. He will never forget the night that she left is life.

**FLASHBACK**

Mulder had dragged Scully on another one of his wild goose chases. Or should he say, his wild paranormal chases. Either way, she did not want to come, but she came dutifully because it was her responsibility to keep Mulder in line.

"Mulder, are you sure these alleged alien sightings are even mildly substantial? They sound like the typical 'little green men in flying saucers if you ask me.'"

"Scully, it *is* about little green men..err..gray men. We just have to check it out. I promise I'll have you home in your bed this time tomorrow."

"Sure. Fine. Whatever," Scully uttered her typical response.

So, the duo headed towards the fields that were dotted with crop circles. All of the sudden, the all-too-familiar blinding light enveloped the sky. Scully had inadvertently walked right into it. It was as if she didn't know it was there. Mulder screamed as the light disappeared, along with his faithful partner. He begged with the skies to bring her back. He couldn't lose another person to the blinding light. To THEM. 

"Why??! Why couldn't you've taken me?? She didn't do anything!!! I made her come!!! Let her go!!" Mulder's screams and protests turned into whimpers, which subsequently turned into sobs. Mulder was left in the dark, alone.

**BACK TO PRESENT**

As he sat in the dark, alone on his couch, he tried to calm himself down. As his breathing became more regular, he thought about the last year-and-a-half.

He still could not get over the fact that it had been his fault she was gone. It was bad enough when he couldn't stop THEM from taking his sister, but now he had practically walked Scully up to the door of the spaceship. For six whole months he searched endlessly for her, but all his attempts were in vain. During those six months, he ate and slept only enough to continue on his search. During that time, no developments were uncovered. Not one fucking clue as to where Scully was. After that, he quit the FBI. No more. He could not take it anymore. Skinner accepted his resignation without so much as a grunt. 

[Fuck Skinner] Mulder thought. [Fuck the whole damn government.]

For the past year, Mulder had devoted all of his time to research. None of his studies led him any closer to Scully. Even the Lone Gunmen were at a loss. But he did not quit. Until now.

After he finished brooding over the past eighteen months, Mulder suddenly became aware of how dark and quiet his apartment was. Deadly silent, except for the drone of the television. He realized that he had to move on. THEY would never give Scully back. 

[I have to get back to life, and search for Scully and the truth only part of the time. I need a job.]

He really *did* need a job. Since he quit the FBI a year ago, he had exhausted all of his funds. Mulder decided then and there to find a job tomorrow. He did not want to waste the rest of his life.


	2. Reunion

He searched for a job. Any job. In reality, he believed that a job would take up his time and he would eventually forget the guilt that he carried with him ever since that night. Most of the want ads were for basic repairmen, jobs that don't even require a high school diploma. He knew that he needed a job that would occupy his mind and his hands. He found one job that met these requirements. At first he hesitated; it was a government job. He would work on a special Search and Rescue Team that traveled with the FBI's special forces. In the end he figured it was this or nothing.

Mulder entered the Hoover Building, walked through the metal detectors, and headed toward the receptionist's desk.

"I'm here to hand in my resume for the opening on the Search and Rescue team." Mulder greeted the woman at the desk with confidence. 

She barely looked up from her work, "Assistant Director Marshall will see you in twenty minutes for an interview."

"Just like that, are you sure he'll be available?"

The receptionist looked him square in the face, "Nobody has applied for this job. AD Marshall will take anyone he can."

AD Marshall gave Mulder the job on the spot because of his loyal career at the FBI. Mulder wondered if AD Marshall was oblivious to Mulder's reputation under AD Skinner. Marshall wanted him to start on Monday.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The days at the FBI soon became monotonous. Everyday, Mulder would sit at his desk filing paperwork until he received a call from an agent requesting his assistance. The cases that he covered were routine: homicides, rapes, drug busts, conspiracies. Conspiracies. Mulder laughed at the thought; these "conspiracies" were nothing like what he used to cover. These were mainly possible terrorist attacks and embezzlement. Everyday. For six long months. Today would be like no other day. Boring.

Mulder was studying a case report he was about to turn in when the telephone rang.

"Mulder."

"Agent Mulder, we need you to accompany us to a warehouse in a small town."

"Where is it? What's it about?"

"We are led to believe that a terrorist cell in Parkersburg, West Virginia. They seem to

have occupied an abandoned warehouse. The plane to Charleston leaves in one hour."

"I'm on my way."

*Click*

(Warehouse in Parkersburg, West Virginia)

The agents burst into the warehouse followed by the Search and Rescue Team. The place was ransacked. File cabinets laid open, papers everywhere. Most of the evidence appeared to have been taken. The agents begin to gather the papers.

"Men, let's search for people and physical evidence," ordered Agent Miller, the leader of the Search and Rescue Team.

Mulder split apart from the group. He was suddenly drawn to a faint moaning sound. It was coming from a wall. He punched the wall, and it gave. Inside were about twenty-five scared, famished people of all ages.

"Guys, we have victims!" he shouted. 

The team gathered around and evacuated the victims. An agent called from across the warehouse.

"This place is going to blow; there's a gas leak."

Agents and victims scrambled out of the warehouse as fast as they could. For some reason, Mulder felt like he was missing something.

"Agent Mulder, we have to get out of here!" an Agent yelled.

"I'm just going to check for more victims."

"We are headed down to the hospital to check these patients into a quarantined area. We are going to follow the ambulances."

"I'll catch up with you," Mulder hollered back.

"If you find anyone, call 911."

Mulder continued his search. Then, in a dark, damp corner, he found what he thought he was kept for. A woman was hovering, clutching a baby wrapped in a dirty rag.

"Ma'am, I'm with the FBI. I need to take you to a hospital."

The woman just stared back. In the darkness, he could not see her clearly. He reached to lift the baby and she pulled the now-wailing child closer to her.

"Ma'am, if you could come with me..." She reluctantly followed him. "I'm going to call for

an ambulance."

"No," the woman responded with no tone in her voice. "No hospital."

As they exited the warehouse, he finally had a chance to get a good look. He studied her for a minute, and his eyes became as big as saucers.

"SCULLY!"

chapter three to follow soon!!!


	3. Who are you?

Scully just stares at Mulder with no sense of recognition on her face. 

"Scully, it's me, Mulder," he says.

Still, Scully gives no response. She clutches the baby closer to her chest. "I don't know you," Scully says with no feeling in her voice.

The glow in Mulder's eyes fade as he realizes she has no idea who he is. "We must take you to a hospital. I don't know how long you've been in there."

"No hospital."

"I know you hate staying in hospitals but you could be really injured and-"

"No hospital."

Seeing the fear that rose to her eyes as he said "hospital," he let it go. "I'll take you to my place. They had to sell your apartment so I have all of your belongings in storage in the basement of my apartment," he explains.

On the plane ride home from Charleston, West Virginia, Scully just sat staring into space. Every so often she would reach over and touch the baby. Mulder still has no idea why she has this baby, but she insisted on not letting it out of her sight.

When they finally got to his apartment four hours later, Mulder asks, "Scully, do you need anything." In response she just stares at him.

He makes up his bed with clean sheets and sifts through his clothes to find her favorite t-shirt, his basketball jersey. He hands it to her and decides to run down to the basement. In his storage compartment, he sifts through her boxes, and brings up two that are full of clothes. When he returns, she is fast asleep on his couch, still holding the baby.

While she sleeps, Mulder decides to clean his apartment. This gives him some time to think. He cannot understand why she seems to have no idea who he is, let alone who she is. He is positive that the baby is not hers, nor is it even human. He pauses and looks at the baby, who looks about six months old. It was the only baby at the run down warehouse back in Parkersburg. He wonders if aliens have stolen information from her mind, and in that process removing her memory. Then he wonders if it were aliens at all. What kind of trauma was she forced to deal with? Could her memory loss be directly connected to her minds attempts to block out the trauma she has just experienced?

He had all these questions and no answers. Mulder picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

"The Lone Gunman."

"It's me, Mulder, turn off the machine."

Mulder tells Byers how he found Scully and her strange behavior. He also tells Byers that she refuses to see a doctor or go to the hospital. 

"According to my research, alien abduction or not, Scully seems to be suffering from a version of post traumatic stress disorder. Her memory will return, but you just have to coax it a little. Remind her who she is, but don't force it. Forcing it will only make her bury herself more and it will be harder for her to return to her normal self. Are you sure she's actually Scully, and not a shape-shifter?" Byers asked.

"Yeah, I saw Scully in her eyes, even though it was really far away. So, will she stay like she is until she regains her memory?"

"It's a possibility. She may go through different stages though. Just be patient. I'm sure you can make her remember."

"I know. I'll talk to you later. Thanks Byers."

"Anytime."


	4. Confusing Dreams

**chapter four**

After two hours of cleaning, Mulder barely made a dent in his apartment. The living room was finally clean. As he starts on the kitchen, the baby began to cry. He walked over and tried to take the baby from Scully. Scully, though still asleep, tightened her grip on the baby. Mulder finally loosened her hold and picked up the baby. He was not really sure what to do. He swayed from side to side, hoping to lull the baby back to sleep, but he soon learned why the baby is crying. Mulder felt the soggy diaper and immediately pulled back in disgust as he got a whiff of the baby's little present. Mulder looked around for a diaper, but he knew he did not have one. He finally settled on a Knick's T-shirt, and after pinning the shirt to the baby's bottom, he held the baby in front of him to look at his work. Mulder decided he needed to go shopping for some diapers.

After all of this, Scully finally woke up. "Give me my baby," she said softly. Mulder looked at her, confused. 

"Scully, is he yours?"

"Give me my baby." she demanded, her voice raising.

He handed her the baby as she sat up. She then proceeded to lift her shirt and feed the baby. Mulder looked around nervously. He had seen his partner naked before, but he felt like he was somehow violating her. It was even worse that Scully was not exactly Scully right now. After the baby finished, she continued to burp him. 

Mulder watched in awe. He knew that Scully always wanted a baby, but he also knew that she couldn't have one. He was surprised to see how motherly she was, even in her current mental state. Mulder had always looked at her as a partner and as a friend. He has seen her stop men twice her size dead in their tracks as they tried to escape the scene of a crime. Even with Emily, he never actually saw her act so, natural. He could see that she kept her distance. But with this baby, it was different. He had so many questions, but he knew he would have to wait to ask them. His first priorities were taking care of the baby and helping Scully regain her memory. If she ever did.

"Scully, I think we need to go shopping for the..urr..your baby. You don't have to come, if you don't want to."

Scully did not respond. She merely put her shoes on and waited patiently for Mulder to leave so she could follow. Mulder found this a bit odd, but he just shook it off. They went to Wal-Mart and he picked up a box of diapers, baby wipes, baby shampoo, a rattle, and some bottles and pacifiers. On the way home, he pulled into Babies 'R' Us. He let Scully pick out the baby furniture, but she was not interested. She just followed him, looking at nothing in particular. He bought a white crib, a car seat, a stroller, bedding, and clothes for Scully's baby.

During the car ride home, he tried to remind Scully of her past. "I've missed you at work. The X-files weren't the same without you," he paused, giving her a chance to respond, but she just stared at him. "I quit a while ago. I have a new job now. I'm on a Search and Rescue Team. That's how I found you," he said as he smiled at her. She did not respond. The rest of the ride is silent. As he turned off the ignition, he looked over to find her asleep. He gently woke her up and carried the baby inside with Scully in tow. As Scully stared at the blank television, he brought up everything they bought and assembles the crib. He put the baby in the crib and watched as the infant quickly fell asleep.

He walked back into the living room and watched Scully for a moment.

[she is a shell of the woman she used to be.]

"Scully, I set up the crib in the bedroom. The bed has new sheets on it so you can sleep in there." 

Scully turned to go to bed. "Oh, you don't have to go to bed, yet, it's only eight." She just lookd at him and then continued into the room. She closed the door and fell asleep.

Mulder sighed and flipped on the television. His insomnia kicked in and he spent the night watching B-rated science-fiction movies.

While Scully slept, she dreamed. She was in the dream with a man. At least, the woman

*looked* like Scully, but she did not feel the same. 

********************************************************************************

She walked over to the man and smiled. She held up a small brown bag.

"If there's iced tea in the bag, it could be love."

She smiled at him and lifted the bottle out of the bag. "It's root beer."

She had these strange feelings for the man. In the dream, she thought of him as Mulder. She felt close to this man. She felt as if the man knew her better than she did. 

Suddenly, the scene changed. The mood was a sad one. She was standing in a dark hallway. The man was right in front of her. He leaned his head down towards hers. She felt herself lean into him. She thought they were about to kiss. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her neck. She felt weak. He lowered her to the floor.

The scene changed again. They were in a waiting room of some kind. The room had a funny yet familiar smell. They were watching a television that was attached to the wall near the ceiling. The people on TV shouted a countdown as a ball dropped. The man was standing next to her. They turned to face each other. He lowered his head. "Happy New Year," he whispered. They kissed.

********************************************************************************

Scully woke up. Her baby was still asleep. She looked around the room. It was still dark. She lied back down. She slept again, this time her slumber is uninterrupted.

a/n: sorry about the iced tea/root beer flashback typo...i meant to say root beer...thanks 

dana-maru!!


	5. Flashback

chapter 5

When Scully woke up, her baby was gone. Fear rose and caught in her throat. She ran into the living room. Her baby sat on Mulder's lap, giggling. Mulder was baby-talking. Scully, her instinctive protectiveness taking over, darted across the room and snatched her baby from Mulder. Hurt flashed in Mulder's eyes, but Scully was too distant to see it.

"I was only playing with him. He woke up about twenty minutes ago and I didn't want to wake you." Scully just stared at Mulder. He continued, "I made coffee. There is some in the kitchen."

"If there's iced tea in that bag, it could be love."

"What? Scully, do you remember that?" he jumped, walking over to her.

"It's root beer."

"Scully," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking into her eyes, searching for the real Scully.

"It's raining sleeping bags."

By this time, Mulder was about ready to burst. He thought he had his Scully back. [wait!! *my* Scully?! when did i start referring to her as mine?]

Then, Mulder's face fell as Scully snapped from her trance. She just stared at him and walked back into the bedroom. Mulder sighed. He thought she just had a breakthrough, but it all seemed so weird. He instinctively called his friends.

"Lone Gunmen."

"It's Mulder, turn off the recorder."

**click**

"Mulder, how is Scully?" Frohike asked curiously.

"I don't know. Um..is Byers around?"

"Hold on."

"Mulder," Byers greeted Mulder.

"Hey. Scully hasn't seemed to remember me or even herself. But this morning when I told her we had coffee she started rambling of things we have said to each other. It was like she was in some kind of trance."

"What kind of things?"

"She said, 'If there's iced tea in the bag, it could be love.' and then she said 'It's root beer.' It was some little piece of a conversation I had with her on a case years ago. And then she said, 'It's raining sleeping bags.' One time I was joking around with her on a case and I said something like 'too bad it's not raining sleeping bags' or something. I thought maybe her memory came back but then she just shook her head and it was like she had snapped out of some hypnotic state. What gives?"

"With identity and memory loss, patients have been known, in early stages, to just blurt out something from their past experience. This is what Scully did. But you are right, she is regaining some of her memory. This is just the first step."

"So, now what?"

"Just keep acting like she *is* Scully. It'll come back to her. It just takes time."

"Thanks, Byers."

"Anytime."

After hanging up the phone, Mulder glanced at Scully. She just continued to stare. Mulder

opened his mouth to say something, and she disappeared.


	6. Slowly but Surely

****chapter six****

Scully stayed in the bedroom the rest of the day, coming out only to eat. Finally, at one o' clock, Mulder peaked in to see what she was doing. His room was a mess. Clothes strewn everywhere. He walked in, slightly alarmed.

"Scully?"

She turned around. She was snooping through his closet. "Scully, what's wrong?"

"My identity. It's in here. It said so."

"What said so?" he inquired, immediately suspecting a conspiracy.

"My mind."

"Have you found anything?"

"She held up two things, one in each hand. In her left hand was a small baggie. "You eat sunflower seeds. I don't like them."

"Right," he said, chuckling. "You never liked them."

"Why do you eat them?"

"I don't know. Nervous habit."

In the other hand, she held up a gray T-shirt. "This was in my box of clothes. You gave it to me. I don't like sports. Are the Knicks your favorite team?"

"Yep. I gave you that shirt, well, I lent it to you, when you spilled pizza sauce down your shirt one night. You never gave it back."

"It smells good."

"Like what?"

Scully took a whiff of the gray bundle. "Like, like soap and cologne...like you."

Mulder just nodded.

"Does Frohike still have a thing for me?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"You remember him?" She nodded. "Yeah, he'll always have a thing for you."

"I saw Samantha."

This statement, which she said so matter-of-factly, froze Mulder. "You saw my sister?" he asked carefully, so as not to injure her fragile statement.

"Yeah. She said to say hi."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"Where *was* she?"

"In my head."

Mulder's head fell disappointedly. "You must have been dreaming."

"No." She paused. "She said she died when she was ten. She had cancer. She said to tell her Foxy that she loves him."

"Are you sure it was her?"

"Mm-hmm. She knew my name."

"What is your name?"

"Dana."

"What is your last name?"

"My name is Dana."

Mulder nodded in understanding. She did not respond to him because she did not know Scully. He knew that she was not his Scully yet, though. He could see it in her eyes.

[how do I make her remember?]


	7. Freaky Breakthroughs

chapter 7

**************

*the next day*

**************

Scully and her baby were still asleep.

Mulder paced around his apartment. Scully had made a few revelations but nothing substantial. He was still worried. He was afraid that Scully would never remember who she is. Her comment about Samantha really got to him. He could not let his quest distract him from his new quest. To find Scully. He found her physically, just not mentally. She knew herself as Dana. That was a start. He had not called her Dana since her return. It was one of those things she just knew.

Scully walked into the kitchen where Mulder had paused from his pacing to grab a cup of coffee. Before the cup touches his lips, he caught sight of her. He put down his cup and smiles.

"Good morning, Scully."

Scully did not respond. Instead she kept walking towards him. He became curious and a little worried when she did not talk. She grabbed his face, gently yet forcefully, and kissed him. Scully forced his mouth open, and they stood in the middle of the kitchen like that for what seemed like forever. Mulder just stood there, stunned. She pulled away from him. Mulder blinked and licked his lips. He looked at her questioningly but said nothing.

"You were in my dream."

"What?" Mulder asked, confused.

"Last night and the night before."

"Oh."

"We kissed a waiting room. I didn't know if it was you."

Mulder just nodded. Scully turned back into the bedroom. Mulder gulped of his now-cold coffee as he took in what just happened. Then a huge smile covered his face.

[Scully has never been so forceful. Too bad.]

The rest of the morning passed by quietly. At about eleven thirty, Mulder walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. "Hey, Scully, you hungry?"

Scully nodded. "Why don't we go out to eat then?" Mulder continued. She just continued nodding. Mulder let Scully pick out the restaurant. As they were driving, she pointed out a small diner. Mulder parked the car and they walked inside, Mulder's hand gently resting on Scully's back, Scully cradling the baby in her arms and carrying the baby seat in her left hand.

They walked into the diner and sat across from each other in a booth. A young waitress, who looked about twenty or twenty-five, walked up to the table, pulled out a notepad and looked at Mulder.

"What would you and your wife like to drink?"

"She isn't my wife and I don't know what she wants. I want sweet tea."

The waitress looked at Scully, waiting for her to answer. Scully looked up, "Water, please."

The waitress returned with their drinks and they ordered their lunch. As they began eating, though, Mulder noticed that Scully was distracted.

"What's wrong, Scully?"

Scully did not respond, her eyes and attention were focused on a man sitting at the counter. Mulder turned around and saw the man that had Scully's attention.

"Who is he, Scully? Do you know him?"

"Yes. He is my husband."

"What?!"

a/n ::evil laugh:: don't you just *love* cliffhangers. they aren't so bad if you are the one

that made them 


	8. Mrs Donald Gordon

chapter 8

"Scully, he's your *husband*?" Mulder questioned, trying desperately to keep his voice low enough so as to not catch the attention of the alleged "husband."

"Yes, Donald Gordon. My husband. I need to go talk to him." Scully said as she stood up from the booth, intending to walk up to the man.

"No, Scully, let's wait. We have to go, now."

"No!" Scully protested, but Mulder was already ushering her out of the diner. He dropped a twenty dollar bill on the table, grabbed the baby, and led Scully out of the door.

"I have to go back in there!" Scully started shouting. "He's my husband. I have to see Donald!"

Mulder, after buckling the baby into the car seat, had to forcibly hold Scully back from entering the diner. His thoughts were racing through his head at record speed. He was confused. For once, he did not have any strange theories. For once, Mulder was completely stumped.

He finally managed to get Scully into the car. He ran to the other side and turned the ignition. He drove to the Lone Gunman's office. If anyone could call it an office. Mulder got out of the car and grabbed the baby. Scully obediently followed, though she was still distraught over Mulder's refusal to let her speak to Donald. Once Mulder reintroduced Scully to the three men, he sat down at a computer screen with Langly. 

"Can you do a background check?" Mulder asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Do you have a name?"

"Donald Gordon."

Langly typed in the name and hit search. A picture popped up on the screen along with the 

man's statistics.

"Is this your guy?"

Mulder nodded. "Does he have a criminal record?"

Langly looked it up and read it aloud. "Three counts of rape, all different occasions, petty theft, illegal gambling, and polygamy."

"Polygamy?" Mulder asked, confused. "That is not very common. What else does it say?"

"He was educated at Yale. He has a Ph.D. in religion. It appears that Gordon served as the president of a Mormon church in Utah."

"Can you get any more information on his job as president?" Mulder interjected.

Langly's fingers busily hit the keys. He clicked the mouse and began to read off the information from the screen. "He was removed from this position by the parishioners. After that, he broke off and formed his own church, which he said is a new sect of the Mormon Church. From what I can see here, it is a radical group that is made up of some of the people from his former church. This," Langly said, clicking on another link, "says that residents of a nearby town complained about bonfires. Investigators said that the bonfires appeared to be ritualistic in nature. Driven out of Utah by continuous complaints against them, Gordon and his followers travel around the country 'proclaiming the word of God.' This lady, Ann Franklin, says that she used to be one of Gordon's followers. She said that 'Gordon's beliefs and practices are radical. It's like a cult. He teaches the belief of polygamy. But only for men. My husband and I were both his followers. We didn't have a clear grasp of reality at that time. It was almost like we were hypnotized by his words. He gave us answers. It was just so easy.'"

Langly finished reading the screen and looked at Mulder, "It looks like we have a holy psycho on

our hands."

"Where is Ann Franklin now?"

Langly turned to the screen. "Dead."

"Dead? How old was she?"

"Thirty-six. Ann and her husband were found dead in their homes three weeks after this interview."

"Okay, so Scully was part of a cult...none of this explains her abduction. How did she end up with Donald and then again, she was found in the warehouse. None of this makes sense."

Langly looked at Mulder, then turned and looked up at Byers and Frohike. None of them had any ideas. Once again, Mulder was stumped.

"Either way, Mulder," Byers broke the silence, "I don't recommend letting Scully or her baby anywhere near Gordon. Why don't you take her home? Frohike, Langly, and I will continue to research Gordon and his quote 'religion' and we'll call you if you find anything. You should focus on helping Scully regain her memory."

Mulder glanced at Scully, whose attention was turned to the baby. "Okay, but you have to call as soon as you discover anything."

"Will do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I need at least...um...four reviews if you want the next chapter!!!

Author's notes: Okay, first of all, I don't mean to step on anybody's toes with this post. I want everyone to know that the Mormon Church is not some cult that promotes multiple wives for a man. I was inspired to use the Mormon Church after reading an article in Vanity Fair about Elizabeth Smart's abductor. A couple who used to be the abductor's followers discusses how they believed things that they would not have otherwise and how easy it is to believe the lies that the guy said. It was in the latest issue of Vanity Fair. If you guys are interested in this, please read it. Vanity Fair explains it a lot better than I can. All religions have their extremists, their radicals. All religions has their faults. I mean, look at mine! The Catholic Church is dealing with all of the molestation from priests. Eww. So anyway, comments are appreciated, flames are welcomed, I just wanted you to understand that I have nothing against the Mormon Church, so no need to make accusations of that.

additional a/n: thanks to c. f. lewis for catching my mistake on the whole pastor/president thing


	9. Mind's Eye

New Beginnings: Chapter Nine

Mulder sat at his old desk in the dusty basement office. Scully sat opposite of him, looking at him expectantly. Langly leaned against the doorjamb. Byers stood against the wall, and Frohike snooped through the file cabinets. They were all waiting for something, but they had no idea what it was. Mulder had called down the trio, and they simply walked into Mulder's old office. Mulder barely acknowledged their presence, but they did not speak up. They knew that whatever they were waiting for would come out of Mulder's mouth, so to speak.

Mulder's chair squeaked from months of disuse as he stretched back and put his legs up on his desk. He opened the left drawer and pulled out a dozen sharpened pencils. Just as he successfully flung the second pencil into the air, embedding itself in the tiled ceiling, another man entered the room. 

"Mulder, what are you doing here?" Assistant Director Skinner asked Mulder. Mulder shrugged. Skinner then looked at the three suspicious men scattered around. "How did you guys get in here?"

"I used my key. Nobody changed the locks. You could have made it just a little difficult for me to come back, Skinner," Mulder quipped.

Skinner sighed. "And how did you three get past security?" he asked, referring to the Lone Gunmen.

"We came through the computer screens," Frohike said. 

Scully sneezed. Then she laughed. Everybody looked at her, confused. She looked around. "It's like that time when we played the computer game and Mulder got stuck."

All five men smiled. After a second, Mulder practically flew out of his chair. He swung his legs off of his desk and his feet hit the tile floor with a loud boom that echoed down the hall.

"That's it! When her eyes are closed, she remembers everything. She doesn't recognize anybody because her eyes are open. There must be some link between her eyesight and her memory loss."

The other four men exchanged glances. Scully blinked, looking a little confused. She did not quite grasp what Mulder had said, but neither had anyone else. Mulder, ignoring their current state of confusion, continued to expand his new theory.

"Some ancient cultures believed in what we now call the Mind's Eye. It's what allows us to see what we dream and imagine. Some cultures feel that it is the root of visions. The Mind's Eye allows us to see those we know and recognize in our minds. It's how we envision childhood memories and such.

"Anyway, those ancient cultures feared that the Mind's Eye and its use is challenged by our own eyes. In essence, they feared that their descendents would leave their customs for new ways. It's the same fear shared by the Amish and such that their souls would be lost forever if they were to be photographed. Some tribal cultures even went so far as to stab out their own eyes in order to improve the eyesight of their Mind's Eye."

"So how does any of this relate to Scully's situation?" Langly asked, not following Mulder's train of thought.

"Well, as I said, she woke up and started spouting off things that we've done together. Certain cases, old jokes. Then, the next time she woke up, she kissed me. And, of course, she had her eyes closed. Then, she had another flashback. And just now, when she referred to our video game case, she sneezed. It is the only connecting factor among all of this."

Everyone sat silent for a moment. Byers spoke up, "What can we do?"

"I don't know." 


	10. Blinded

Disclaimer: I forgot to put in chapter nine that all of the stuff about the Mind's Eye is made up. Some of it may be true, but I don't have any knowledge on the area.

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New Beginnings: Chapter Ten

After making sure the Lone Gunmen could handle Scully's baby for the night, everyone departed from the dusty office. Scully and Mulder headed off to his apartment. Mulder had a couple theories about the whole Mind's Eye concept, and of course he wanted to test them out. 

Mulder unlocked the door to his apartment and opened the door for Scully. She settled herself on Mulder's worn leather couch. She seemed ill at ease, but Mulder did not notice. Instead, he immediately went to his bedroom closet. He began throwing various articles of clothing and shoes sporadically out of his way. Finally, he pulled out a tie. Mulder held the tie out in front of him, smiling triumphantly as he entered the living room where a stiff Scully sat staring at the wall. She did not even look at him when he entered.

"Can I put this over your eyes?" Mulder gently asked Scully. Her eyes widened in fear. Mulder gently touched her arm. "I'm not going to hurt you. I won't even touch you." 

Scully studied his face, trying to determine if he was genuine. Finally, she hesitantly nodded her head. Mulder squeezed her arm reassuringly before tying the tie around her head, making sure that it covered her eyes. Mulder regretted not having a bandana but he figured that a tie would work all the same. Finally, after smoothing her hair, he stepped back to view his work. For the first time since he watched that spaceship fly over him, taking Scully away, Mulder prayed. {Please, God, let this work.} Mulder walked over to his desk and sat down. 

Though he knew that the Mind's Eye would probably not begin to take over immediately, each passing minute made Mulder's faith in his theory fade until doubts and Mulder's so-called "logic" took over his mind. After about twenty minutes, Mulder had given up all hope. As he passed by Scully's line of vision (that is, if she did not have a tie covering her eyes) to remove the tie, she spoke. 

"Mulder?"

"Scully?" Mulder asked, not knowing if she recognized him or merely called him what everybody else did.

"How did I get to your apartment?" Scully asked, to which Mulder grinned.

"What's so funny?" she insisted.

"You don't remember?"

Scully shook her head, causing the back of Mulder's tie to swing back and forth.

"What *do* you remember?" 

"We went on a trip. Something about alien sightings. Crop circles. A bright light. Then darkness."

Mulder sat in guilty silence. Scully felt it. "Mulder, was I abducted. Again?"

Mulder nodded, even though he knew she was still wearing the tie. He could not bring himself to speak.

But Scully saw. "How long?" she muttered.

"You've been gone eighteen months." Mulder replied.

"But?"

Mulder jerked his head up, staring at her.

"But?" she repeated.

Finally, Mulder answered her question, "You weren't found under normal conditions."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were found in a warehouse with about twenty other hostages. And you've been with me for a week."

"But I don't remember any of that. And I've *been* here?"

"Well, not exactly. I found you in the warehouse...I quit the X Files...I brought you back here, but you didn't remember me. Or anything for that matter. And you had a baby with you. I thought that-"

"Oh my God." Scully interrupted him.

"What?" Mulder asked, confused.

"So I didn't imagine it."

"Imagine what?"

"William."

"Who's William?!" Mulder asked, bewildered. Ironically, this situation brought more questions than answers.

"And I didn't get a chance to tell you." Scully continued, ignoring his persistent questions.

"Tell me what?"

"I was afraid of how you would take it..."

"Take what?"

"Maybe you never expected it..."

"Expected what? Scully, you aren't making any sense!"

Scully turned her head quickly towards Mulder, as if she had forgotten he was in the room. She looked as if she was about to speak, but she closed her mouth and just sat in silence.

"The IVF worked. I lied to you and told you it didn't. I'm sorry. I just got scared. Like somehow you agreed only because you didn't think it would work. I was about to tell you, but then-well-this happened. I'm sorry Mulder."

Mulder replied with an understanding nod (forgetting she is blindfolded) and "I understand."

Silence enveloped the room once again. Slowly, a small smile danced on Mulder's lips, "So, I have a son?"

Scully just nodded. Then sat still. All of the sudden, she broke down crying. Her emotions took over as she covered her face with her hands. Her head whipped up; she stared at Mulder.

"What's on my face? Did I hurt my head?" Scully asked as she gently felt her face, searching for the tender spot.

"No, Scully, you're blindfolded. It's a tie." Mulder replied, confused because he thought she knew.

"But I can see you. You're standing right in front of me!"

Mulder stood in front of her, surprised. Scully sat in front of him, utterly confused. Mulder thought that the blindfold would return her identity, not her sight.

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a/n: I know I know, what a shitty way to end a chapter! It's not even a cliffhanger. But I really want to post this and I've been super busy. Please review. The button is right there!

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	11. Silence

author's notes: okay, chapter ten sucked really bad. i thought about deleting it, but i figured it would be too confusing. so, i'm gonna cope. anyway, sorry about chapter ten. this one will be better. and longer

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After about two hours of sitting blindfolded, Scully had almost completely returned to her normal self, save the tie wrapped around her head. During those two hours, Mulder and Scully made small talk, avoiding any conversation of the events needing to be discussed. They reminisced about old cases, laughing at the weirder-than-normal cases, and arguing different theories about the ones never solved.

[just like old times] Mulder thought to himself cynically, wondering if anything would ever be normal for them.

"Scully, you hungry?" Mulder asked out of nowhere.

Scully nodded, "Do you want pizza or Chinese?"

Mulder thought for a moment, "Pizza."

"Okay, I'll order," Scully replied, and before he could interject, Scully had walked across the room,

around the coffee table, and to the telephone and hit the speed dial button for the pizza place. All as if she could see exactly what she was doing.

He did not understand this. He had no theories for this whatsoever. Sure, Mulder was used to not having scientific explanations for paranormal phenomena, but Scully was no X File. He paused and shook his head, correcting his train of thought. Scully was an X File, but she was no freak. 

They continued talking and reminiscing until the pizza came. They ate in silence for about five minutes, but it was not the comfortable silence they usually shared. Rather, the silence screamed through the room, leaving a ringing noise in their ears. Finally, Mulder could stand it no longer.

"We have to talk about this." Mulder blurted out.

"What?"

"You. We have to talk about what happened to you."

"Mulder..." Scully let the word hang in the air between them.

Mulder chugged his half full beer before answering her. "Something is wrong."

"I know."

Mulder paced the room. He felt idle. "Look at me Scully."

Scully immediately turned toward Mulder, who was standing at his computer. Mulder brushed it off as a heightened sense of hearing. She just followed his voice. He walked back across the room and sat on the

coffee table knee-to-knee with Scully. He put his hands behind his back.

"Hold my hand."

"What?" Scully asked, confused.

"Just grab my hand." Mulder repeated, not offering any explanations.

So Scully did as she was told. She leaned forward, balancing herself by putting her left hand on Mulder's right thigh, and reached behind his back to grab his hand. She did this without feeling around. She knew where it was. Like she could see it. As Scully sat back down and held Mulder's hand in hers, Mulder subconsciously squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Mulder, what is it?" Scully said, the silence making her squirm uneasily in her seat.

Mulder sighed. His sigh revealed the burdens he bore through his life. As Mulder sat before her, silent once again, Scully pondered over his sigh. A sigh is just a breath held and let out in anticipation. Or relief. Or pain. Mulder's sigh was one of a man twice his age. He had been through too much. The two of them had seen and experienced so much pain. And it was evident. In their faces. In their sighs. Scully tore herself from her thoughts as Mulder began to speak.

"Scully...Can you see me?" Mulder finally breathed.

"Of course I can see you...You're sitting right in front of me." Scully said, more confused than before.

[WRONG ANSWER!!] Mulder's brain screamed, pleaded. He had hoped that he was wrong, that he had just imagined all of it, that his overactive, paranoid imagination had gotten the better of him. Mulder did not know what to say. Instead, he took her hand and gently moved it up to her face, letting her fingers feel the tie. It was at this moment that she comprehended Mulder's silence. It seemed that the silence now conquered Scully, but in the silence a thousand questions screamed to be answered. Mulder moved from the coffee table to couch, next to Scully. He felt awful. Mulder felt like he was telling her she had cancer. He sighed again, remembering the pain and anguish of Scully's supposedly fatal cancer. A shiver crawled up his spine as he blinked hard to clear his mind of the horrible thoughts.

Slowly, calmly, Mulder explained the past eighteen months to Scully. Mulder replayed the events of the night of her abduction to Scully, who had a hard time taking in all of this information. Mulder paused before telling Scully how he found her in the abandoned warehouse. He knew that this was a lot to comprehend at one time. As Mulder told her, he relived the night. They sat in heavy silence: Mulder dealing with the emotions he had buried, and Scully trying to remember the tiniest detail, frustrated that none of this was familiar to her.

At the same time that the two were dealing with their own emotions, they thought of the other's feelings as well. Scully rested her head against Mulder's shoulder, while Mulder wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her as close as possible. So they sat, Mulder holding Scully, and Scully holding his hand in her lap, for the rest of the night, as Mulder explained the events to Scully, who sat in silence.

Finally, close to midnight, Mulder finished telling Scully what had happened and his theories about it. For a minute, Scully did not say anything. Just as Mulder was beginning to suspect that she had drifted off to sleep, she spoke.

"What do we do?"

Mulder paused, searching for an answer, but none came to him, "I don't know."

"So, if I can physically see, then I am somebody else?"

"Well, you don't recognize anybody. Or anything."

"But if I am blindfolded, then I can see you. And I know you," Scully stated, trying to understand.

"If you can't see, then you can see me. And...I am assuming, you can see those whom you already know."

"Oh." Scully sat silent for a moment. "Will I ever be able to eventually regain my memory...I mean when I can see?"

"There is no way to tell."

"I feel like a vampire or a monster. You know, that can only come out at night," Scully mumbled.

"No," Mulder whispered reassuringly as he kissed the top of her head.

For a while, silence regained the upper hand. The silence, though, was more of a comfort than earlier.

"Hey Mulder," Scully interrupted the silence. "I don't want to live not knowing you."

Mulder smiled thoughtfully. "Me neither."

Scully looked up at him and returned the smile, but it slowly faded when she realized how close their faces were. At first she panicked, but she maintained her cool exterior. Then, she did what came natural: she closed the space between them.

The kiss was tender, a symbol of love, not lust. A promise.

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a/n: finally MSR!!!! i hope this chapter is better than the last one...I like it better. I figure you will either hate it or love it...most likely hate it, though. Hope you fellow shippers appreciated the msr...i hope it fits in. I figured that all the heavy emotions would flow into msr emotions. did you like???


	12. Decisions

New Beginnings 12

"You figured out the link between Scully's memory loss and her eyesight. Now what? We still have to find Donald Gordon," Frohike asked.

Mulder sat silent. 

"I guess Scully has to go back to not knowing anyone if we want to catch this guy," Langly offered.

"We can use Scully...uh, the one who doesn't remember anyone, to give us information about Donald Gordon and his so-called church," Frohike mused. "Maybe there is a link between alien abductions, or at least this one, and Donald Gordon and his followers. We could-"

"Stop!" Scully interjected. "Just stop. Stop talking about me like I'm not here. Don't I get any say in this?! Do I have any control over my situation?"

Frohike and Langly exchanged glances. Langly looked to Byers. 

Byers broke the silence, "Of course you do-"

"DON'T!" Scully yelled. "Patronize me."

Byers cleared his throat and began again, this time more cautious of his words, "You are the link to all of this. But I don't know what to say. The decision is ultimately up to you. You must understand, though, that you ultimately hold the key to so many of the answers we, including yourself, have been searching for," Byers finished quietly.

Scully sighed. She knew in her heart that she would inevitably concede, but this knowledge did not stop her from the inner battle. All four men in front of her stared at Scully expectantly. While not meeting their gaze, she shifted uneasily in her seat.

"Guys, could you give us a second?" Mulder asked, rising. The three men shuffled out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

Scully sighed, for she knew what lay ahead. "Mulder, please don't start with me..." Scully said softly, letting her words just drift off.

Mulder moved to the couch that Scully sat stiffly upon. He forced her to turn to face him, ignoring the tie covering her eyes. "Look at me," he whispered. "Now, I have to talk to you, but you can't interrupt me."

Scully nodded.

"If you, as Dana, the wife of Donald Gordon, went back to him, and we put a tracking device and a microphone on you, we could uncover what appears to be a religious fanatic group. This group may or may not have links to the alien conspiracies. But if it doesn't we could still find out how you got into the group. I know this is a big risk, seeing as how you won't exactly be yourself, but we could uncover *so* much, Scully," Mulder said softly. "I know that sometimes my judgement is a little, shall we say wavered, because of my search for the truth. But I know that you trust me. I would never put you in any situation that I deemed dangerous. Intentionally. However, if you choose not to go, I won't blame you. We'll never mention it again. I'm letting you make this decision, but I do want to say that I would like you to go, though I am not going to pressure you. Understand?"

Scully nodded solemnly, like a chastised child. Mulder waited for her to speak.

"But what if, when I take off my blindfold, I stay as Dana Gordon forever? We don't know anything about my condition! I could lose my identity forever. I don't want that."

Mulder sat silent and just nodded.

"What if I lose you?" Scully asked softly. Then she looked up from her lap and into Mulder's face. "I don't want to live not knowing you."

Mulder offered a weak smile. "I don't think," Mulder began, "that this condition, as you call it, is one that will force you to remain locked in one personality. However, I don't know for certain. But when you were Dana Gordon, you would remember little things. From dreams and such. So even if you were to remain stuck, eventually, I think, you would become Dana Scully. At least, when you are blindfolded."

"But Mulder," Scully started to cry, "I'm scared."

"I know. And you don't have to do this."

Scully nodded. She sunk back into the couch. Scully sat silent for two minutes. Then, with a shaky voice, she agreed to do it. Mulder reached his long arms over and embraced her. Scully rested her head on his chest, calmed by the stead beat of his heart. Mulder kissed her hair as they parted. Then, they stood up, hands linked, ready to call in the Lone Gunman to tell them Scully's decision. Mulder glanced at Scully warily.

"You sure?" Mulder asked.

Scully nodded as she let out a shaky breath that she did not know she was holding.

Mulder called for the three men to reenter the room. As they did, they looked at Mulder and Scully's face for any indication as to whether Scully agreed to their plan. 

"Scully has agreed to resume her identity as Dana Gordon," Mulder announced.

The three men shared glances and grinned. As they all came up to Scully to thank her, she smiled weakly before glancing away.

"Okay," Scully said. "Let's get started. You have to teach...the other me...to use your equipment. I want you to bug me. And tell me to listen to whoever is talking to me, and how to talk into the microphone. And we should attach a video camera to me, so that you can see where I am going and such. I know that the other me is drawn towards Donald Gordon, and I have a tendency to listen to him over anyone else. So you need to find something that convinces me to listen to one of you guys over him. And," Scully paused for a breath, "I need to take William."

Mulder started shaking his head. "You can't take him. It will be too risky."

"I have to," Scully simply stated. "Donald will suspect something, and I know that Dana Gordon will become flustered in one way or another."

Mulder sighed, "Whatever you think you should do..."

"Then it's settled," Scully said, walking over to the computer. Despite her hesitancy at first taking on this project, Scully was totally focused on her task. "We need to figure out something that will make Dana Gordon believe whoever is talking in her ear over Donald Gordon."

"What if," Byers started, "we told you-her- that we were her...guardian angels? You know, since it's a religious cult..."

"Or," Frohike interrupted, "we could say that we are God."

Langly shrugged; Mulder looked to Scully for approval. Scully eyed Frohike suspiciously.

"Okay, but watch Frohike when he's talking to me."

Langly laughed as Frohike feigned innocence.

Scully cleared her throat, "Are you guys ready to work with Dana Gordon?" Scully toyed with her tie.

They nodded; Scully looked to Mulder, who nodded. Scully took off her tie and blinked.

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a/n: big enough cliffhanger for ya? review, please!


	13. God's Plan

Author's Notes: Sorry I've taken so long to update. I had my wisdom teeth out last week ::cries:: and I started school on Tuesday. They start school earlier every year. I'm going to try to update this as often as possible, then finish Obstacles and whatever else I haven't completed. Then I have another story I *really* want to start. As usual, reviews make me write faster.

New Beginnings 13

Dana Scully, or rather, Dana Gordon, blinked her eyes and looked around the room. With a critical eye, she ran her finger along a nearby shelf and frowned at the amount of dust on her finger. After brushing her hands on her jeans, Dana turned to inspect her quite unusual companions. 

After studying them from head to toe, she shrugged decidedly. She sat down on the couch that Dana Scully had occupied only moments before. Then she looked up at Langly, who just happened to be the nearest to her, and asked "Who are you?" Her manner was so matter-of-fact, like Dana Gordon was used to periods of, shall we say, nonexistence and popping up in unknown locations with unknown people; it was commonplace. Even expected. 

The Lone Gunmen each introduced themselves to each other, intrigued by the obvious change that happened when Dana Scully became Dana Gordon. The woman who sat in front of them seemed oddly calm. Nevertheless, there was work to be done, and very little time to do it. Byers stepped right in and began the project that lay before them.

"So, Mulder tells me that you are a religious woman," Byers opened, casually.

Dana Gordon nodded solemnly, "I am."

"What church do you belong to?" Langly asked innocently.

"My husband's church. He broke off from the Church of Latter- Day Saints. They said that he was too radical, but they just didn't understand Donald. I think he is just before his time, but he doesn't mind. He knows that one day all people will see the truth in his ways and convert. Then they can attain salvation. His church is called the Divine Church of Salvific Repentance."

"So," Frohike started, "do all members of the church obtain salvation?"

Dana Gordon shook her head, slowly, "Men are higher beings than women. Men who follow God's teachings, through Donald's church, of course, are saved. For a woman to be saved it is much harder. We must spend our mortal lives as servants to attain eternal life. But even then, it isn't for sure. Saintly women do, of course, for that's what a saint is. A person we know is in heaven. The Divine Church of Salvific Repentance believes in thousands of saints. You know the Catholic Church has hundreds of saints, right? Well, we believe that all of those people are saints, as are hundreds more. Basically, for a woman to be ensured salvation, we have to experience some sort of encounter."

Mulder spoke up, cautiously, "Have you been guaranteed salvation?"

Dana Gordon visibly shrunk, ashamed as if she was sitting naked in front of them. "No." She looked like she was about to cry. 

"Well that's okay," Byers said reassuringly, like he was talking to a small child. "We know how to contact you with God."

Dana Gordon's eyes lit up with naive hope. As Mulder watched all of this, he marveled at how trusting and naive Dana Gordon was, considering how paranoid Scully has become over the years. He wondered if Dana Gordon is more like the Dana Scully before the X Files. Mulder started as his drifting mind was brought back to the present by a squeal. 

Smiles slowly spread across the faces of the four men. Scully's idea may be the key to this whole puzzle. 

"You mean, I can talk to God, and he will talk back?" Dana Gordon asked.

Mulder nodded his head as Frohike pulled out a small box from one of the numerous desks. With as much mystery as he could muster, Frohike slowly and somewhat ceremoniously brought the box over to Dana Gordon. Just as he lowered the cardboard box so that she could look into it, he snapped the lid shut. Dana Gordon looked up at Frohike, afraid that he would not do as promised. In fact, Mulder could have sworn that he saw her lip start to quiver.

"First, there are some rules that you must follow. You don't want to anger God," Frohike said, shaking his head. Dana shook her head with his.

"Sometimes, God is going to tell you not to talk, only to listen and obey him," Byers chimed in. Sometimes he will tell you what to say to people around you. You can't tell them who told you. God does not want other people to know you are talking to God. You are a key part of God's plan."

"I am?" Dana Gordon asked, awestruck. Mulder and the Lone Gunmen nodded solemnly.

"You have to promise us that you will obey God. You have to listen to everything he tells you," Langly said.

"What does he want me to do?"

"Dana," Mulder said, "God is testing your husband. He wants to see if Donald is sincere about his devotion to God. You see, that is why you cannot tell Donald. God cannot test him if Donald knows. And if Donald fails, he may not be saved."

Dana Gordon's eyes widened with fear. "Okay."

"This is what you do," Frohike said, opening the box. Dana peered into the mysterious box with a mixture of fear, curiosity, and awe. "This little device is what God calls your Guardian Angel. It--"

"It just looks like a hearing aide," Dana said, confused.

Frohike shook his head. "No, it is what God will talk to you from."

"So do I need to talk to him in a special way?"

Frohike nodded, glad that she seemed to be asking all of the right questions. "All you have to do is wear this," he said as he pulled out a velvet jewelry box. Inside was a simple gold cross on a chain, similar to the one Scully wore around her neck. The only difference was that this cross was bugged. It worked as a microphone, picking up not only what Dana Gordon said, but also those in her general vicinity. 

"Can I take my baby?" she asked.

The four men exchanged glances and nodded their heads in unison.

"When can I talk to God?"

Mulder looked at the clock, which read 11:21. "Uh..tomorrow. It's late tonight."

Dana smiled. Tomorrow, God would talk to her. Mulder ushered a yawning Dana Gordon into one of the rarely-used rooms of the Lone Gunmen. He pushed a pile of books off of a piece of furniture that is mainly used for a bed, but which gained the role of bookshelf a while ago. Mulder then fished out some clean blankets and haphazardly assembled a suitable bed. Dana climbed into it, and just as Mulder was about to leave the room, she sat bolt upright.

"Where's my baby?"

Mulder smiled and pointed to the playpen in the corner of the room, where he slept peacefully. Dana lied down once again, her slumber filled with pleasant dreams of heaven. Mulder stayed up with the infamous trio, trying to work out a plan for tomorrow.


	14. Salt Lake City

New Beginnings 14

Mulder was awoken by a persistent shaking. He groaned and rolled over, shoving his face further into the crook of his arm. 

"Mulder, wake up!" a voice whined with the underlying tone of a child on Christmas morning. "It's time to get up!"

Mulder lazily lifted his head from its resting place between his arm and the back of the couch. "Sc--Dana, it's," he pauses and studies his watch, "Five-Thirty! Go back to sleep."

"But I want to talk to him."

"Who?"

"GOD!" Dana Gordon whined, raising her voice in impatience.

"He's not up this early," Mulder mumbled, going back to sleep.

In a huff not unlike the tantrum of a five-year-old, Dana Gordon sat down on the couch, partially landing on Mulder's stomach. Mulder tried to roll over and return to his slumber, but the constant stare of Dana proved to uncomfortable. Grudgingly, he sat up, forcing Dana off of the couch. "Fine, I'm up." he mumbled as Dana clapped her hands. "Why don't you go take a shower?" he suggested. 

Dana shook her head, "I already did."

Mulder just nodded as he padded into the disgusting albeit necessary bathroom of the Lone Gunmen's hideout. By quarter past seven, everybody was up and alert. Langly helped Dana insert the "God device" into her ear as Frohike confirmed that the instruments were in full working order. 

"So, where is Donald?" Mulder asked Dana.

"He said that after he did God's work in Las Vegas," Dana began, as Mulder remembered with disgust that "God's work" had included illegal gambling and what he suspects was recruiting people for his program with the aliens. "He would return to Salt Lake City."

"I just bought four airline tickets to just that city, all under false names," Byers chimed in from his position in front of the computer.

"Well," Mulder said, looking around, "I guess we're off to Utah."

xXx

Byers and Mulder unloaded the luggage from the conveyer belt at the Salt Lake City Airport. Dana stood, swaying from side to side trying to help her baby--or rather, Scully's baby--fall asleep. She was waiting for Byers and Mulder to walk her to one of the two cars that they had acquired from the local Rent-a-Car. 

Dana and William would take one car, and Mulder and the Lone Gunmen would follow in another. Byers, who for the time being would play God, sat in the back of the SUV reassembling the equipment he would use to reach Dana. As soon as he got it hooked up, he tested it out.

"Dana," he said, hoping that he could pull off his character.

"God?" an excited and frightened voice came through the speaker.

"My..uh..child. You have been called to do my work," Byers faltered.

"I will do whatever you ask."

Mulder nodded at Byers reassuringly. "Go and find Donald Gordon. I must test his loyalty to me, just as I have tested prophets before."

"Okay."

"I...um..talk to me before you meet Donald."

"I will."

Byers switched the microphone off. He looked over at Mulder and Langly and sighed. "So far, so good," he said.

"Do you think we can pull this off?" Frohike asked from behind the wheel.

"Definitely," Langly said confidentally.

"I'm a little worried," Mulder admitted. "This has to be really wrong. We're pretending to be God to manipulate an innocent woman."

"I guess in that sense, we're no better than Donald Gordon," Byers thought aloud.

"No," Langly intervened, "We are doing it for a good cause. Besides, technically, Dana Gordon isn't anyone. It's delusional character that Gordon created to further gain control."

"I can't help but feel like we're doing this to Scully," Mulder said.

And with that, the four men were left to brood in their own guilt and uncertainty until Dana arrived at the home of her husband.


	15. Sindacin

a/n: sorry chapter fourteen was so short. hopefully, i posted this chapter before too many people became disgusted and swore to boycott this story. lol. whatever. anyway, i hope this chapter makes up for chapter fourteen.

New Beginnings Chapter 15

Anxiously, Mulder paced the motel room as Langly assembled the second set of equipment across the room.

"Why hasn't she called yet?" Mulder demanded.

"She still has time," Langly muttered. "I'm sure nothing has gone wrong. How is Donald going to suspect her?"

"What is the point of doing this? Scully's walking right into danger. I should have just let this one go."

"Scully suggested we do this. She can think for herself," Langly replied, exasperated with the conversation.

"But what if she made this choice because she knew it was what I wanted?"

"Egotistical."

"What?"

"I doubt that you control all of her decisions," Langly stated.

"I guess not."

"So, what do you hope to accomplish with this, anyway?"

"The Truth."

Langly poked his head out from behind the computer monitor and rolled his eyes. 

"I want to know how Scully got from the field to some religious cult in Utah and then to the warehouse," Mulder elaborated.

"I think it works!" Langly changed the subject. He paused. "Yep. All systems go. Go get Frohike and Byers from the car. Now we can work from this room or from the car."

Mulder left and returned minutes later with the remaining two in tow. Just as Byers sat down in front of one of the four laptops in the room and put on his headset, a meek voice came through the speakers.

"God? It's me, Dana."

"My child," Byers replied.

"I'm in front of Donald's church, just like you asked."

"Good, my child. Are you ready to see him."

There was a pause. "I think so."

"Good, my child. Now, when you are talking to him, I will sometimes tell you what to say. You must only say that, nothing else. Will you do that for me?"

"Anything, Lord."

"Now go forth."

Mulder leaned forward from his perch on one of the beds, straining to see what was going on. What they didn't tell Dana about the cross she wore was that not only could she talk to God through it, but "God" could see where she was. Also, to ensure that they covered all the bases, Frohike also bugged her with a tracking device. On the computer screen, the four men could see Dana approaching the same man Mulder had seen in the diner.

"Greet your husband as you usually do," Byers spoke calmly into the microphone.

"Dana, Love! How did you return?" Donald exclaimed, obviously not expecting to ever see his wife again.

"Uh..." Dana stammered.

"Led by the grace of God!" Byers quickly said.

"Led by the grace of God!" Dana parroted.

"Oh!" Donald said as he dramatically threw his head back. Four men in a hotel room fifteen miles away rolled their eyes. "Praise be to God!"

"Amen." Byers whispered, which Dana repeated.

"Ask him how you got to the warehouse," Byers told Dana, who subsequently did as told.

"Dana, don't you remember? You had to go with the angels because you are full of sin."

Meanwhile, Byers got a shot of Dana's feet as she hung her head in shame.

"Tell him you're hungry," Byers said.

"I'm kind of hungry."

"Let us go nourish our bodies," Donald replied dramatically.

Fifteen minutes later, Donald and Dana were led to a booth in a nearby restaurant.

"Ask him about the angels," Langly hissed into the microphone, taking his turn as God.

"Which angels were they?" Dana asked her husband, referring to their conversation in the church.

"My, Dana, you are stupid. Those were the Angels of Repentance. They make sinners pay for their sins through service to them on Earth so they won't go to hell."

"What the hell kind of bullshit is this?" Mulder said, back at the motel. Langly shot him a look, and Mulder shut up.

"Ask him to tell you about the other angels," Langly spoke.

"What are the other types of angels?" Dana asked Donald.

Exasperatedly, like he had repeated himself thousands of times before, Donald said, "There are three types of angels. First, the Sin-dican. Then, of course, the Grays. Finally, the Angels of Repentance."

"What do the Sin-dican angels do?" Langly, and then Dana asked.

"The Sindican. They are angels on earth who kill sinners who are past salvation. That's why it's the SINdican. Get it?"

"Uh-huh," Dana grunted.

"Good, now let's eat in peace," Donald said, ending all conversation.

"My child," Langly closed, "I will call upon you later. Go forth in peace."

Langly switched off the microphone and turned the speakers down, so they could monitor the conversation as they reasoned out Donald's answers. As soon as they could talk, Mulder boomed, "What the fuck is this bastard doing to innocent people?"

The Lone Gunmen shifted their eyes nervously, not knowing what to say.

Frohike chimed, "I wonder who these angels are."

"The first group makes people 'pay for their sins through service to them on Earth so they won't go to hell,'" Byers quoted, using his fingers to emphasize this.

"The second group is the Sin-dican..." Mulder trailed off. Then he yelled, making the three men jump, "SYNDICATE! It's the Sindicate. Then the Gray Angels are aliens. So all of the groups are actual people...urr...beings," Mulder corrected himself.

"'Pay for their sins through service to them on Earth so they won't go to hell....'" Langly repeated.

"Wasn't she found in a warehouse under control of people suspected of illegal gambling?" Byers asked Mulder, who nodded.

"The Mob!" Langly exclaimed. "And it's not uncommon for them to have "branches,"' Langly used his fingers to make quotation marks, "in small towns. And you can't get much smaller than a town in West Virginia."

Silence once again took over the room, but this time, the silence was not laced with guilt. Rather, each man stewed in his victory. They would not talk to Dana until later that night.

a/n: yay for me! long(er) chapter! reviews are a must. i've even already started the next chapter. 


	16. Reunion

Mulder lied on his back, starring at the motel ceiling. "I think we should stop now," he thought aloud. The other three men in the room looked at him strangely.

"You're not giving up, Mulder, are you?" Langly asked.

"No, I mean, yes. I think we've found what we were looking for. There is not need for us to continue, right?"

"You aren't usually one to stop until you have to," Frohike commented.

"It's not like that anymore, though. I guess I don't feel the need to pursue this any longer," Mulder paused. "Have I gone soft?"

Byers, ever the sympathetic one of the trio, said, "I don't think so. You just have different priorities. You have to think about your son now. Before you make any decisions, shouldn't you talk to Scully?"

"He never has before," Langly commented.

"You're probably right, Byers," Mulder mused, ignoring the last comment. "How should I bring her here without Preacher-Man suspecting anything?"

"I don't think you have to worry about that. Gordon is so wrapped up in himself he won't even notice she's gone," Byers replied.

"She has William, right? Babies always need diapers. Maybe she has to go down to the Wal-Mart down the road," Frohike suggested.

xXx

So, Byers arranged a meeting between Dana Gordon and Mulder at the local store. From there, they would go to a secluded area where Mulder would talk to Scully. As he waited impatiently in the Wal-Mart parking lot, he absently drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. Fifteen minutes later, Mulder spotted a tiny redhead walking into the store, a baby perched upon her left hip. He waited five minutes and then walked into the same door Dana had gone through. 

Meanwhile, as Mulder approached Dana Gordon in the Baby Department, Byers guided Scully through the "God's Microphone" to follow the tall, dark "guardian angel" to his "God-Mobile" (a term that Frohike added), but not to speak to the "angel" until they were safely in the car. 

Mulder strapped William into the baby car seat and closed the car door after Dana buckled her seatbelt. As he turned the key to the ignition, Dana turned to him.

"Can I talk yet?" she asked.

"Yes, no one can hear us now," Mulder assured her.

"Can I ask you a question?" Dana paused and waited for Mulder to nod. "Why do you smoke?"

Mulder turned his head, looking at Dana with confusion. "I don't smoke. Why would you think that?"

"Because Donald said that all angels smoke, like the one that comes to visit him."

Mulder nodded as a thousand thoughts ran through his head, "What else does the Cigarette Smoking M- Angel do?"

"Well, mostly he just smokes and stands in corners.. you know, being a _guardian_ angel."

"Has he ever said anything to you?"

"No…he just smiles at me sometimes. He reminds me of….like a father or something."

Mulder inwardly cringed. He cleared his throat, "Well, here we are." They pulled up in front of a small, indiscreet cabin. He walked Dana and William to the door.

"I have to talk to you in a special way, again. I'm going to cover your eyes. Is this okay?"

Dana nodded, "I trust you."

Mulder smiled as he covered her eyes with a bandana. She had no idea what those words meant to him, but the woman he is about to talk to knows exactly what they mean.

I'm sorry I took forever and a day to updated this. My schedule is so busy…I'm taking two college courses on top of my senior year. **AHH** I was crazy to do this. Oh well.

As always, thanks for reading. Now thank me by reviewing (good or bad). Actually, I'd prefer criticisms over anything else! (just leave an email or something so I can contact you!)

~ Theresa

ps. I reformatted this chapter…I hope you can read it better!


	17. Ignorance is bliss ?

New Beginnings: Chapter Seventeen

::the readers ask, "will it never end?"::

Mulder waited a couple minutes for the transition to take place. While he was waiting, William began to cry. Uneasily, Mulder gently lifted the infant out of the carrier. Mulder bounced up and down, trying to calm the now-screaming child. Mulder looked at Scully/ Dana for help, but it seemed that neither one was really "there." He checked William's diaper. Nothing. He grabbed a bottle out of the diaper bag and clumsily shoved it into William's mouth. Nothing. Mulder sighed. He sat down in a nearby easy chair and began cooing the baby, trying to calm him. 

Now, Mulder was not bad with children. The situation was not the "I'm a man, I don't know what to do!" case. Nevertheless, Mulder was relieved when Scully came to and reached for William.

"So, Mulder, how am I doing?" Scully asked, trying to start the conversation.

"Not bad. I know that the Cigarette Smoking Man is definitely involved in this. Dana asked why I don't smoke like the other angels. It went on from there."

Scully smiled faintly. "She…I…whatever…is so naïve." 

Mulder laughed. "We all were, once."

Mulder's statement sobered Scully, "I wish we still were."

Mulder reached for her hand. No words could respond to that. Scully cleared her throat. "So what do you think we need to do from here? We know that three criminal groups are all linked. We could attack the religious group and possibly trap CSM."

Mulder shook his head, "I think it's time we bail out. We've done enough. I don't know why I pressured you into doing this. It's too dangerous. I just want to go home."

It was Scully's turn to shake her head, "Mulder, this is the Truth. It's right in front of us. This could reveal why I was abducted and….everything. What are you afraid of?"

"Losing you. And I think that this is somewhere along the lines of a Pandora's Box type thing. You yourself said you wish you were still naïve. This is our chance. I think we should walk away."

"You aren't going to lose me," Scully chided as if it were the most impossible thing in the world. "And you're right- ignorance is bliss. But revenge and solutions are better. It might not bring back either of our sisters, but what about my sterility? And the mystery surrounding almost every element of your childhood?"

"I…I don't care anymore. About my childhood, I mean. Your sterility is…we have a solution. And…I guess I'm past revenge."

"Don't push aside your need for the Truth because you think it may harm me. I'm going into this willingly."

"Scully, I love you."

She smiled, "I know. I love you, too."

Mulder frowned. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered.

"You can't keep me in a glass case, Mulder," Scully laughed.

"No, but I don't have to through you into the lion's den, either," he soberly replied.

"We'll compromise. One more trip. I want to see if I can bleed any information about contacts within the Syndicate. Maybe we could find a solution to this, too." She made a waving motion, gesturing the blindfold.

"Just one more. And only for a day. I want to go home."

"Okay."

Scully gave Mulder William and headed toward the bathroom to take a quick shower. While she was away, Mulder took the liberty of ordering dinner. Not five minutes after Mulder heard Scully turn on the water, William started crying again. Mulder danced around the room, trying anything to stop William from crying By the time Scully came out of the bathroom wearing one of Mulder's T-shirts (and the ever-present tie) and rubbing her hair with a towel, Mulder and William sat in the middle of the king size bed, surrounded by every toy William owned. Mulder grinned sheepishly as Scully noticed William happily chewing on Mulder's finger.

"He's teething," Mulder shrugged.

Scully sat down gingerly next to them, pushing the toys onto the corner of the bed. She lazily spread out on the edge of the bed, content to watch Father and Son together. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, the doorbell rang. Scully sat up and froze. She was afraid that someone had found their hiding place and her cover was blown. 

"I ordered pizza."

"Oh," she sank back into the bed.

So the family sat down on the bed, pizza box in center. For some reason, it seemed like both of them forgot about the rest of the rooms in the cabin. Scully thought of this mid-bite and chuckled. Mulder looked at her confused.

"Oh, I was just thinking. This cabin has a kitchen and everything, yet we haven't moved out of the bedroom since we came."

Mulder wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, then swallowed the remaining half of his crust. "It's because we are so used to living out of hotels."

Scully nodded as she grabbed another slice. "I think I should get back. What if Donald gets suspicious?"

Mulder shook his head, "He won't. Honestly, Scully, I think half the time he forgets that he's married. Well…not that he's married because having that many wives makes it impossible to forget. He just loses track of all of you."

Scully handed her half-eaten slice to Mulder and once again sprawled out on the bed. "Then can we go to sleep? I'm exhausted."

Mulder finished the pizza and placed the empty box on the bureau. He put William, who was already asleep, into the carrier and placed it in its frame on the floor next to Mulder's side of the bed. He took off his shirt and jeans and crawled into bed. Scully scooted over closer to him as he enveloped her in his arms. Just before she fell asleep, Scull could feel Mulder removing the tie. She sighed contentedly as both of them drifted off into sleep.

A/N: like? Hate? Don't care? Review!


	18. Decisions

Chapter Eighteen

::after this, only two or three chapters to go!::

Scully woke up hot. In his sleep, Mulder had inadvertently kicked the blankets onto Scully's side of the bed. Mulder's arms draped around her waist did not help either. As Scully drifted in the state between slumber and awakening, she remembered that she was not wearing the tie. Clumsily, she leaned over the bed and ran her hand across the hardwood floors until grabbing her tie. Mulder, having been disturbed by the shifting in the bed, woke up with a loud yawn.

Mulder groggily sat up to kiss Scully's cheek before falling back onto the pillows. "Hey."

"I feel like an ass," Scully replied bluntly.

"Huh? Why?" he managed before another yawn escaped his lips.

"Look at me."

"Yeah? You look beautiful."

Scully raised her eyebrow from behind its hiding place under the tie. "I don't want to wear this tie anymore."

Mulder shifted on the bed, "Do you want to see if Dana Gordon eventually becomes you?"

Scully sighed, exasperated, "No. I want to be me without this!"

"I know," Mulder said as if she wanted a deceased loved one back.

"No really. I want to be me again without looking like an ass."

"Scully, I don't know how…"

"I do. I want to become blind," Scully stated matter-of-factly.

Mulder laughed at the absurdity of it, "Okaaay.."

"Can we have someone perform an operation to detach my retinas or something?"

"You mean, operate to _cause_ blindness? I don't think that is in the Hippocratic Oath, Scully."

Scully sighed again, "Don't the Lone Gunmen have contacts with a doctor who won't ask questions?"

"Those kind of doctors aren't exactly one's I would recommend. Plus if he makes a mistake or the tools aren't sterile then your eyes could become infected and- "

"And what? I'll go blind?" Scully interrupted sarcastically.

Mulder opened his mouth to speak and shut it as quickly.

"Fine."

"Fine?" Scully asked.

"If that's what you want…."

"That's what I want."

"Then promise me this."

"What?"

"Don't go to Donald anymore. We don't need answers. Our problems are either fixed or unfixable. Knowing events surrounding them won't change that."

"No. But I'll compromise. I'll only go to Donald's church. He has a file room and I want to snoop."

"Why Scully, _you_ want to snoop. Tsk. Tsk." 

Scully laughed. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm going to shower and go," Scully kissed him before walking to the bathroom.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Mulder bugged Dana Gordon and drove to Donald's church offices. He parked two blocks away and Dana stepped out of the car. She pulled William and his carrier out of the back seat. Mulder watched in silence as she walked away.

As the door closed behind Dana, Mulder turned to leave. He did not see the man with the cigarette follow her into the church.

~ *~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ *~ 

Mulder drove to the motel room to find Byers in front of a computer screen.

"Where are Frohike and Langly?" Mulder asked as he entered the room.

"Out for coffee."

"What has Dana been up to? Mulder said, studying the screen.

"Going through the file cabinets. Do you know what she's looking for?"

Mulder shook his head, "The truth, I guess."

"Which drawer should she start in?" Byers asked, ready to tell Dana what to do.

"S. Look for any files named 'Scully.'" 

Dana did as Byers told her. As she came across a file called 'Scully, Dana G.'" Byers told her to pull it out. She put it in her baby bag.

"I thought Scully's middle name was Katherine," Byers remarked. 

Mulder sat pondering. "I think it's Dana Gordon Scully. They must have combined her name. Have her look under M. I wonder if they have a file on Samantha."

"Dana, can you look under 'M'?" Byers asked. 

Dana replied, "Uh, huh."

She flipped through all of the M files. As she reached the end of them, Mulder sighed. "No file under Mulder," Dana whispered.

Mulder took the microphone. "Can you look under S?"

Scully pulled out the drawer and shuffled through the files. 

"Pull out that one." Mulder commanded as her fingers grazed across the "Spender" file. "Okay, why don't you come out, now Dana. Someone will pick you up behind the church."

"What would you like to know about me, Dana?" A voice from behind her asked. Dana spun around. Mulder studied the picture trying to figure out who was with Dana. The only thing he could decipher was the thin trail of smoke rising to the ceiling.

"Shit," Mulder swore under his breath.


	19. Boom

Chapter Nineteen:

Mulder grabbed his car keys and ran out to his car. The tires squealed against the pavement as he peeled out of the parking lot. At a stop sign, Mulder quickly called the Lone Gunmen, asking them to try to contact Dana and to meet him at the church in the meantime. Five minutes later, as Mulder was doing 60 mph through a residential area, his cell phone rang. It was Frohike.

"We couldn't get a hold of her. The bastard must have discovered her ear piece," Frohike said without muttering a greeting.

"What about the camera? Do we have a picture?" Mulder asked hoping that this was not a tragic mistake.

"Nope, no picture. Someone found us out."

"When you arrive at the church, try to find her. Just bring Scully and William out safe," Mulder replied, trying not to sound desperate.

"Okay, man," Frohike agreed before hanging up.

Back at the church, Dana Gordon was battling against her own demon without any of her guardian angels. "Leave me alone," Dana said calmly.

"You don't think I'd hurt you, do you Dana?" the Cigarette Smoking Man leered.

"I have to go. I have a meeting with someone."

"Who?" he replied, mockingly.

Dana's mind raced, searching for someone's name. "Donald, my husband."

"But darling, I'm right here," a voice drawled behind her.

Dana spun around to see her husband. A voice in her head screamed in warning. "Stay calm, but be careful." The mantra repeated in her head.

"From what I've heard, Dana, you have been very sinful," Donald chided condescendingly.

"I'm sorry," Dana mumbled, for he had hit a soft spot.

"You know that God has awesome wrath," he continued chiding. The Cigarette Smoking Man just stood in the shadows.

"On the day when the Lord shows his fury, not even all their silver and gold will save them. The whole earth will be destroyed by the fire of his anger. He will put an end- a sudden end- to everyone who lives on earth," Dana mumbled, quoting Zephaniah.

"You have betrayed God. Now, you must be punished!" Donald declared.

"What will happen to me?" Dana asked fearfully.

"You will die in fulfillment of the scriptures!"

"Noo!!" Dana pleaded as the Cigarette Smoking Man and Donald left, locking the door of the church behind them. Dana ran through the church, looking for an escape; suddenly, she stopped. Something smelled funny, but she was not sure what it was. It reminded her of road trips; she closed her eyes, and the agent inside of her screamed "Gasoline!"

Mulder pulled up simultaneously with the Lone Gunmen in their rented van. The four of them leapt out of the cars in time to see the church burst into flames. 

Mulder cried as he did that night his Scully vanished into the night sky in the forest. The sound he uttered was indescribable. It emanated anguish. He fought against the hold of Frohike, Langly, and Byers as he tried to enter the church after her. Mulder's true desires were to save Scully or to die in there with her. 

Finally, he calmed and collapsed onto the pavement as firemen swirled around him. His screams were reduced to whimperings.

"Scully."

"Scully."

"Come back."

A/N: Do not despair! Just keep reading! Only one more chapter after this one. Between updates (my next one will be soon, promise!), think about the following questions:

Why did Donald Gordon blow up his own church? What about William? 

And remember that the woman in the building was Dana Gordon, not Scully. But no, the fire does not kill Dana and let Scully live. It wouldn't make too much sense for a fire to kill one personality but not the other. That's too soap opera-ish, even for _this_ story!


	20. Discoveries and Closure

New Beginnings 20: Final Chapter

The Lone Gunmen let Mulder stay in the parking lot in front of the demolished church as they went to gather their equipment for the trip home. They knew he needed to mourn. The police who had interviewed witnesses along with the firemen whose presence was of little use were long gone. Mulder just sat and thought. About Scully. About how many times he had lost her. About how many times she had been returned to him. About how silly it was that she lost the battle through such a trivial means, considering the monsters she fought one-handed. Fate had done her no justice.

As he sat, he moaned and whimpered. Mulder sighed, but the whimpering continued. He paused and listened. It sounded like…a baby's cry. Mulder burst into the church, trying to follow the sound of the cries. Mulder hoped that God had been kind enough to leave someone with Mulder. At least he would not be alone.

Then he heard it. That voice.

"Mulder?" it called, tentatively.

"Mulder?" it called, a little louder, but from another location.

"Scully?" he answered, almost to himself.

"Mulder!" she replied, stepping into his view.

"Scully!" he yelled as he ran to her side. She immediately followed his voice.

He held her shoulders securely in his hands and, examining her body, asked, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, Mulder," Scully chided.

"Oh God, it's you," he whispered, surprised beyond words.

Scully smiled, "No, it's _Scully_."

Mulder chuckled softly. "Let's go home."

After phoning the Lone Gunmen and telling them the news, Mulder and Scully drove back home. Tired from their draining experiences over the past eighteen months, Scully and William slept most of the way. Mulder loved the three-day drive. He loved watching his lover sleep next to him. He loved seeing his son and knowing it was the best parts of both of them. 

When Scully awoke after the first day of driving, she noticed something was amiss, but she kept this knowledge to herself, though she knew he would eventually find out.

She followed him into their motel room. It was the first time that they only asked for one room, and while neither mentioned it, they simultaneously reached for the other's hand as he told the receptionist "One room, please."

Scully dreaded this damper this discovery of hers would put on their contentment. As she predicted, Mulder was quick to learn of the problem.

They held hands as Mulder grabbed his overnight bag (Scully's was left at Gordon's house) and Scully held William in her other arm. Mulder let go of her hand to unlock the motel room and ushered her in by the small of her back. Scully sat on the bed as Mulder took a sleeping William from her arms and set him in the baby carrier. 

"I'm going to use the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Okay," Scully replied.

Scully lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. After everything that's happened to her, spanning a time period of almost two years, Scully was glad it was over. And she knew that it was over. Things would calm down, but her life has changed forever.

William awoke and announced so with a long wail. "I'll get him," Mulder yelled from the bathroom, "just give me a second." William stopped crying as his tiny thumb found his mouth.

Scully called back, "No, it's okay, I'll get him."

When Mulder came out of the bathroom two minutes later, William was still sitting in his carrier. "Oh, did you decide to just leave him…." The words from Mulder's sentence just fell away as he took in the sight of Scully. She was sitting on the floor, grabbing at the air around her.

"be?" Mulder finished his sentence in a whisper.

Scully spun around, "I…uh."

Mulder cocked his head to the side, taken aback at the woman before him. His words came out slowly and painfully, "Scully…can…you….see me?"

Scully did not answer him, but her reply spoke volumes. Mulder collapsed onto his knees next to her. Scully fumbled nervously with her hands. "Scully…" was all Mulder could get out. Neither knew what to say. Finally, Mulder continued, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't want your pity. Or your protection," Scully mumbled to Mulder.

"I would never insult you like that, Scully. And I've always protected you. I just can't help it."

"But why?" Scully asked, her blindness no longer the topic of conversation. "What makes you feel like you have to protect me? Haven't I proved myself to you?" Scully asked despite knowing that her current situation proved otherwise.

"It's not a matter of whether you can take care of yourself, Scully. You _have _proved that. I just feel- " Mulder's voice quieted to an almost inaudible whisper, "that it's the least you deserve, especially because of the times I've failed you."

"You have never failed me," she replied. "You haven't failed because you never gave up."

"I'd never give up on you, Scully."

"I know."

They sat in silence for a while. "Why do you think Donald wanted to burn down his own church?" Scully asked out of nowhere. 

"He knew that allegations were circling about his church. The state had already filed polygamy charges against him. And Linda Osborne, who was abducted six months after you, was also found there. He knew it was just a matter of time," Mulder replied.

"Is that why CSM was there? To warn him about Linda Osborne?"

"As far as I can tell."

How did you escape out of the fire anyway?" Mulder asked.

Scully paused. "I never thought about it…I guess I just followed your voice."

"You could hear me?" Mulder asked, genuinely surprised.

"No with my ears, I guess. Maybe with my heart." Scully concluded, glancing over to smile at Mulder, who returned the smile.

"How did you get William?"

"Well, I guess there was a time when I was me, but I still had my eyesight. So I grabbed him out of the baby carrier, which was by my feet, and well…here we are."

A few minutes later, Scully asked Mulder a question, "How did you find me in the warehouse?"

Mulder smiled, "The same way, I guess. I followed my heart."

"Hmm…an X File." Scully mused. They laughed. 

Mulder took her clenched hands in his own and kissed them. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Scully smiled.

"Let's go to bed," Mulder whispered as he led her to the bed. 

He turned around, and Scully wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him, "Thank you," she whispered before pulling back the covers and sliding into bed. Mulder walked around the bed and climbed in next to her. As they shifted in the bed, Mulder wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. 

"For what?" he whispered into her ear before kissing her neck.

"Everything. For you," Scully mumbled as she was falling asleep.

"No, Scully. Thank _you. _You made me better," he replied before drifting off to sleep.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 

Epilogue: 

Mulder, Scully, and their son returned to Washington, D.C., four days after Mulder's discovery of Scully's blindness. The Search and Rescue Unit of the FBI for which Mulder had been working prior to Scully's reappearance questioned Mulder on his unexplained absence. Mulder told them of Scully's recovery and the links between the Syndicate, Donald Gordon, and the Mob. His boss threatened to dock Mulder's pay, but Mulder had already decided to quit. 

Three months later, the FBI reopened the X Files. Mulder and Scully returned to their original positions in the division. However, due to Scully's blindness, the field work she could due was severely limited. Most of her work was done in office and as a consultant. A third agent was assigned to the X Files. His name was Jake Thomas. Two months later, another partner joined the X Files department. Her name was Martha Francis. 

Agents Thomas and Francis covered most of the long distance cases. Mulder and Scully focused their attention on alien conspiracy cases, leaving the liver-eating mutants and the fetishists to the other two agents.

Scully's eyesight never returned, but neither did Dana Gordon. Both seemed lost forever. A doctor's visit and eye examination showed Scully's blindness was due to the excessive smoke and searing heat of the fire in the church. Though Scully visited a number of psychologists, counselors, and psychiatrists, no one could account for Dana Gordon or her disappearance. 

The Mulders (as the trio were now known) adapted. Their lives resumed a somewhat normal pace. Scully learned to read Braille, and even taught it to William when he was seven. William, though he never learned about Dana Gordon or Scully's abductions, he was well educated in the paranormal. 

XX THE END XX


	21. Author's Notes

AUTHOR'S CLOSING NOTES!!!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you know who you are. If, perchance, I have had some closet readers (i.e. those too afraid to review), thanks for reading. And to those who read this after today, thanks to you, too!

In case anyone was wondering (laughs at own egotism), I first started this story as a cheesy Sleeping Beauty type-thing, where, once Dana Gordon kissed Mulder, **poof!** she becomes Scully again. But, when I finally got to that part, I decided that was cheesy as hell. So, for all you lactose-intolerant readers out there, I'm glad I changed the story so you wouldn't blow up like a blowfish (or whatever milk makes you do…) 

I got the idea for a cult that spun off of Mormonism (is that how you say it?) when I read an article in Vanity Fair about a cult similar to what happened to Elizabeth Smart. Again, nothing against Mormons.

The Mind's Eye idea came from that X Files episode where the blind girl could see vicariously through her estranged father's eyes, though the two have never met. It was a really good episode.

And I think that about wraps it up. Questions? Comments? Complaints? Review or email me at PixieDustBunny@hotmail.com

~Theresa 


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